so close

Our Erin lives about four hours away from us. Sounds close enough that we would be going to visit all the time, but she works long hours and the weekends tend to fill up quickly. I want her to enjoy life with John Paul, friends in Boston, have that down time that will recharge her for work. We don't go up there very often- feeling like we will use up that space.

I'm always going on about Mo as if she were an only child. She's the baby, it's easy to focus on her life still playing out in our home- or nearly so. All three girls are special, precious, remarkable, so dear and so different. It gets harder to tell funny little anecdotes about them as they grow up and head off to worlds of their own making. Kind of not my place somehow. I can't even describe what it is that Erin does now. Her work at a not-for-profit boggles my mind, and I would not do it justice trying to explain it. Her compassion and intelligence, her determination to be a caring daughter, sister and partner, her sincerity about her place in the world- I do know about that- and yes, we are proud of her. And we miss her as much as that little Mo, off to another year of college. Thank heavens that Maggie can still be reeled in for an occasional dinner at home! 

This morning Erin called me and then her dad out fishing to say that she was in the NY area at a memorial service for a colleague. Feeling the proximity, just wanted to check in and say hi. How odd that in his boat twenty minutes earlier, her dad had been less than 200 yards off shore from where she was at the service. He could have waved- she could have looked out the window, picked out his boat and waved also. But he was already farther away back toward home. How strange that seems.

In this photo she waves the way she did as a little girl, walking backwards into kindergarten, never taking her eyes off me until she had to open a door and go in. That never changed. I was worried about it when she was young, I am grateful for it now. I wish I had been close enough to wave today. Sometime very soon, sweet girl. We're there.

Comments

[Lovie]

I know what you mean about having 3 daughthers. I too have 3 of the most wonderful girls all out and about on their own now. But, somehow, the baby (we call her Peach) just comes up so much in my thinking. Maybe because we are so alike and maybe because we always butted heads the most and now that she is a mother I see her emulating me in so many ways. I just love it.

Speaking of love, isn't Amy at Inspireco the best? I think your mice are just enchanting. Not long ago, I made some little birds for her and now we are cooking up another project which is very exciting.

[Alice Larkin]

I love that you call her 'sweet girl'. That is exactly what I call my daughter. I too miss my sweet girl. So hard as they grow up and lead their own exciting lives. I am grateful that we are very good friends too. She lives 1200 miles away and that is the hard part. Thank you for sharing your life with us. Love your work so much and have appreciated you for some years now.

[Pam]

That makes me a tad teary. Each year they move a little farther out don't they, into their own lives? Happy to see them grow up into wonderful women, a teeny bit sad to let the girl go.

You have beautiful daughters.

[Sally]

Such a sweet post Charlotte and I found myself missing my mom so much (and needing lots of kleenex!). What a lovely tribute to your sweet girls and a mothers love.

[Florence]

Oh no...just when I am feeling wobbly inside that this is the last week of the summer holidays with my 5 year old daughter, Matilda...and then I read this and realise that the wobbly feeling just keeps coming no matter how old they get.
She looks lovely (and happy!)

[clarice]

Thank you Charlotte for this wonderful post. It reminds me to cherish the time I have left with the girls home xoxox Clarice

[Dede]

I had to chime in here on Erin. She is all those wonderful things you said, and she is SO FUNNY!!! That comes from being smart, I'm sure.
xox Dede

[Susan]

What a beautiful post! Your girls sound lovely and Erin looks happily content in that photo.

[Sarah]

A reader of my blog pointed me to this post as I was having similiar looking forward/looking back thoughts about my little sweet pea today.

It is always comforting for me to read about it from the other side, where the children are grown, when I am knee deep in caring for a quickly growing 2 year old.

Thank you for a lovely little visit here.

[melissa @ the inspired room]

Ok, you got me writing almost an entire post about my own memories of the "little wave" and I caught myself. This is your blog, not mine. :-0 Just know I can relate-- BOY CAN I relate to how you feel. Such sweet memories. Sweet girls. Such happiness for who they are becoming. :-)

Thanks for the teary smile you brought to my face as I saw the little wave again in my mind. I will probably reminisce in my own blog a few more times myself! It is good to remember special things like that.

[Cheryl Dack]

Oh my...so sweet...thank you for that reminder that the dear girlies asleep right now in the room next to mine will be oh-so-soon grown up and moved, not away, but ON. And isn't that what we mothers are trying to prepare them for? Thank you for your post and also for your sweet book about mothers and daughters that I just TREASURE. Thank you for capturing that wave for me tonight and helping me bring mothering back into sharp focus. It is SO regular and day-to-day, but also so REAL.
Hugs to you...Cheryl :)

[Tinkerblue]

My mum and dad live 6000 miles away. I wish they were closer. Reading your post I wonder if my mum lived 4 hours away would we visit more often or would she, like you give us space to live our lives. I think she would be like you.

[karen]

Missing my own girls. Do they know the longing we have? Or must we keep it in our mothers hearts?

Karen