in spirit

 

Every morning for the last month, my mother wakes up and asks, When is the wedding? Soon. Very soon. A few more days.

We are all measuring the days in our way. Busy, thoughtful, excited, anxious. Mostly just happy.

After dinner last night, I said that I really missed my dad right now. Andy said, yeah, now is pretty much when we miss them the most. His mom, his dad, too. Our girls have all grown up so beautifully. They are loving and kind and funny and dear and charming. They are each other's best friends. They take care of us in their little and big ways. Family is everything to them. My mom is the only one of the grandparents to see them as young women. I love it when she tells me how sweet they are, how much she adores being with them, laughing and listening to their stories.

Erin was the first grandchild in my family. She was easy to love and exquisitely loving in return. Like everyone else, my dad was enchanted. He loved the role of Grampa and the chance to nurture her intuitive soul. Showed her the forest, the fields, the places where fish lingered in deep pools. He calmed her worries at day's end when the countryside grew dark with wild noises piping in the dusk. He challenged her reticence, teased out her toughness, assured her that she could do anything. He asked hard questions and shared the short answers. He made her giggle and celebrate the silliness of things. O, c'mon!

He couldn't love her more than he did in those growing up years, but still I know he would.

Of course, I'll be thinking of my sweet dad on her wedding day.

Picturing those fabulous blue eyes welling up with transparent joy, we will surely miss him.

 

As always. But for me, more than ever. He should be here.

Comments

[Laura]

Your words are so beautifully written and very touching. I don't know what I would do without my Dad...Thank you for sharing...and might I add...that was a beautiful bride! Best wishes to the entire family at this special and happy time.
:) Laura

[dede]

I feel ya, my friend.
xox,
d

[gennysent]

very sweet. You gave me goosebumps!!

-genny

[Angel Jem]

Tears are an inevitable part of getting married... even more so when somebody you feel should be there isn't. But you know he is really, in the turn of a head or the flash of an eye. And you know that time passes and life changes. Be blessed by who you have and celebrate the living even as you remember the left.
And, please, send me some tissues. That was a lovely post.

[Cherie Wilson]

Thanks for sharing your open heart. I'm freshly reminded that this marriage thing runs DEEP, doesn't it? The good, bad and the ugly:) It comes from all of our heartful perpectives, not just the bride and groom. Be blessed Mother of the bride! Enjoy the ride dear Charlotte! He will be with you!!

[Linda Thiltgen]

Thank you for the heartfelt and tender post. Family bonds go beyond the grave. Love is eternal. I'm sure those you love will be smiling down on this special day. Doesn't take away the hurt but the love stays in our hearts. Wishing you a lovely day
Peace
Linda

[Linda Richter]

I understand.... only my husband's father is left to be at the wedding in September of our son. I've been missing my mother....

[Karen B]

Wow, your words are so beautiful. Our daughter married last September and I am very grateful that our parents were a part of it. My dad performed the ceremony. Even though my FIL was too ill to go, he heard all about the planning. Your post reminds me to be thankful for that gift. I'm seriously in tears, though. Goodness! These are such wonderful days for you! Savor each moment.

[rebecca]

oh those photos!
you're in my every thought through the weekend...enjoy every little bit of it all!

[Dawn]

...such a touching tribute...
I so understand. Every time there is another event in the family...I think of my dear dad, too.

Hope all goes well.
You must share with us when you have had a chance to rest.
May your special day be perfect~
Dawn

[Fiona]

Oh your words have such meaning to me today. I was married in March this year and sadly not one of our Grandparents were there to see us. Getting married in your late 30s I guess that's inevitable. But on the day I knew with all my heart that all 8 of our Grandparents were looking down on us with a smile and love. Sadly all our Grandparents had gone before we even met each other and inparticular I know that my Mum's Dad would have absolutely adored my husband. Not that the others wouldn't as well but my Grandpa was very very interested in history and as my Husband is a history teacher and passionate about it, I know they would have talked for hours and hours.

I wish Erin and your family all the very best for the Wedding. Enjoy every second of the day. I've just been finishing our Wedding album so all my memories are fresh for me. I'm feeling your excitement as I remember those days in the week back in March leading up to our Wedding. It's a wonderful time. Enjoy it. Fiona

[Sheila]

Such sweetness!

[Dagmar Leuenberger-Swift]

What a beautiful tribute to your dad and to your whole family..It makes you have a big lump in your throat when read your loving words.

[jenny b harris]

I know what you're feeling. Can't imagine how I'll feel at my own daughter's wedding. Definitely a bittersweet time.
Hugs,
Jenny

[Sally]

Dear Charlotte,

I especially love when you write about your family. I guess it touches me so deeply because mine was never much of one.

I'm so sorry your dad can't be there with you and to witness Erin and John Paul get married.

My brother passed away unexpectedly in 1995 and it breaks my heart every moment thinking of all his daughters milestones he has missed - they were only three and nine when he passed.

SOB!!!

Oh gosh.

Hey, look at you! What a gorgeous bride you were - what wonderful photos of you and your father.

I'm sure he'll be looking down on all of you and feeling so very proud of his family.

Bless you all and much joy!

[Mary]

I don't know if your remember my previous comment, but my dad passed away 5 years ago this December. So your posts about your dad always hit a nerve (especially in the tear duct!) While day to day does get easier, the special events are heartbreaking and my heart goes out to you and your family.

[LindaSonia]

Charlotte... such a touching post. Feelings I can only imagine. I don't have the kind of memories you do. I prefer yours.

I know you cherish the gifts you've received in this life. You are truly blessed. Enjoy every moment of these special days.

Hugs, LindaSonia

[Candace]

Thank you for sharing this, Charlotte. The photos are lovely. How lucky you were to have such a dad.
Take care.
From Athens.

[Troy Louise]

What a wonderful post. I know he will be there with you & Erin, but for you to be able to give him a big hug would be so nice. What beautiful pictures. Thanks for sharing.

[Lena]

This is a beautiful post my friend.
There is a bit of your father there. In that great big heart of yours, and in the love that you give to those around you. The more love you give, the more it will come back to you. Perhaps that, in a way, is how our loved ones touch us back, after they've passed on. I think, that if you take a moment to be very still, you'll feel his love surrounding you.

Your photos are lovely.

xox

[Lisa]

I lost my Daddy this past February and you make me realize that I'll miss him for the rest of my life. Every milestone my children reach, every wonder of nature I'd like to share with him. He was quite a man -- sounds like your Dad was quite a man too.

[Jennifer]

so beautifully written!!

[mary]

Oh, Charlotte...! I know how you feel, missing your Dad. I'm so glad your Mom will be there with you. Best to everyone! Love the pics. Cheers!
mary

[judy]

My youngest son will be married on October 3rd.

Yesterday we admitted my dad to a hospice facility.

My mom is in a home with Alzheimers.

I'm trying not to lose sight of all there is to be thankful for. I'm so thrilled that my parents were so involved in my children's (and grandchildren's!) lives.

Whoever it was who said 'love hurts' sure knew what they were talking about.

[Elaine]

Yes he should...and I'm sure he'll find a way. Blessings.

[Zita - Mlle Magpie]

What sweet and kind words about your father and your family. Your wedding photos are too, too beautiful, Charlotte ;)

[Gabriela]

Hello Charlotte,

What a fabulous post!
Love the vintage photos...and you look fabulous!

~ Gabriela ~

[Hena Tayeb]

a wonderfully written post that brought tears to my eyes

[Alison Gibbs]

What a beautiful heartfelt post. It is just how I felt whwen my girls got married and my mother could not be there, she has been gone nearly 17 years but I can still 'feel her' here.
Alison

[gardenmama]

Beautifully written post paired with stunning photos!

[Crystal]

Charlotte, I love how you write and express yourself. And what dear photos...touching.

Thanks for sharing...

[jill]

i just cried good tears

[tracey]

We always miss a loved one the most during such special occassions. Love the black and white photos!!!

:) T

[Jill]

My dad died when my two oldest boys were 2. I remember his talking about wanting to take them fishing and how he planned to make them into Penn State football fans just as soon as they got a bit older. And now, they don't remember him. But of course, I do.

Your post made me cry. It was beautiful and real.

[Mary Ann/Ca]

The last baby my Mother held was my youngest daughter Megan in 1983 when Meg was 14 months old and I was the care taker the few months so Mom could be home. In 2008 when Meg got married she wore her Grandmother's bracelet and Mom heard every word just as your Dad will. Stay in the moment, it will be so lovely!

[Jeanne]

What a lovely post Charlotte. It's a beautiful time for your entire family. I had similar thoughts last year when our Natalie got married. Only one grandparent of hers was still living. My mom, although she passed before her grand-daughter and namesake was even born, was there with me the whole way through. It's funny, but she is the most like her and they never even met! Enjoy every minute of this time (it sounds like you are) and remember to breathe!
xo
jeanne

[Linda Crispell]

He looks like Richard Burton, what a dapper man!
I look forward to hearing all about the beautiful wedding.
Your Pal,
Linda

[Dede Warren]

What a beautiful tribute to such a loving, attentive father. How could you not miss such an amazing man, on such a very special day? The photos are lovely Charlotte!

[Ginevra]

...

such a lovely post. thanks.